The Preschool Letter

It finally came in the mail. I had anticipated it and we had talked about it. We were leaning towards not sending Ollie to preschool next year. But when the letter was in my hand, it was like my child was being accepted for a scholarship into a private school. Or the acceptance letter to a selective school. Or my acceptance into medicine at UNSW. The question then resurfaced: How could i not send him to preschool? It was only for two days (Thursday and Friday), it was near our place and Steve's work, it was a short day (9-3pm), and he would probably enjoy it.
We prayed about it. I asked my homeschooling friend for prayer. We asked Steve's parents for prayer. We prayed some more. I know that it is not a big deal. It's only preschool and maybe in a year's time I can look back on this and laugh, but at the moment it is an Important Decision. I saw all that I would miss if i didn't send him - more reasons: it's a great Christian preschool. The teachers are Christian. They are evangelical. They have small classes. It would give me 2 days of break. He would have friends. He would have a sandpit to play in. It would be a loving environment.
I agonised over this decision. I really did. Even though we had ALREADY pretty much decided against it before.
In the end it was really a point where I needed to make a commitment on homeschooling. If i was going to homeschool, then why did i need to send him to preschool? Preschool only has an advantage to prepare him for real school.
I have felt really convinced (& maybe convicted) about homeschooling. Particularly in this last week being on prac at a Public School, which is a 'good' public school, but not in my view. I definitely do not want my children to go to a public high school, so why a public primary school, and why a preschool?
I finally rang the preschool and took him name off for next year.
It was liberating.
I feel okay about it.
On the way home from high school (my prac) I had a moment of epiphany. The letter of acceptance really was like a letter of acceptance to a selective school/private school/medical degree. And you know what? If you were to ask me now what i would do with all those prestigious offers that I had accepted in the past (the best girls selective school in the state, the best girls private school, the best medical degree), I would GIVE THEM UP - In a heartbeat. Yes. I would give it up. There are MUCH more important things in life. And they were never the important things in my life. Had i not gone to a selective school and instead been homeschooled, I would have learnt so much more. I would have been much happier. I would have known what I wanted, which did not include doing medicine and instead would have included maths and having delightful boys. Which i do have now, but I did take a rather roundabout way of getting here.